Reprieve
by Biscuit15
Summary: No matter what Squalo tries to do, there's always a nagging in the back of his mind that perhaps the problems he keeps trying to run away from aren't actually within Syracuse, but rather the problem lays with himself. But if that's the case, is it really something he wants to face, or would he rather keep running? Xanxus x Squalo XS
1. Chapter 1

"Squ-Squ… Can you come home already…?"

Squalo sighed loudly as he adjusted his hold on his phone. He rolled his eyes at the soft whimper on the other end of the line. "It's three in the morning; why aren't you in bed?"

"…"

"Belphegor. Why the fuck aren't you in bed?" He had been on the phone for not even twenty seconds and already Squalo was starting to lose his temper.

"…I'm scared…" It was clear the other was telling the truth, but judging how the boy had whispered those words, it seemed he was rather embarrassed to say them. "You've been gone for three weeks now… I'm hungry, and I'm scared…"

The long-haired male reached out to the ground from the bed he was sitting on so he could grab his jeans from the hardwood floor. He fumbled with them until he had found his carton of cigarettes. "You're sixteen; go cook something and then get to bed."

"I don't want to sleep; someone was wandering around the house before… I'm scared…" If the sniffling was anything to go by, it seemed that the other was on the verge of tears.

Squalo let out another sigh. He looked at the sleeping body next to him before he cradled his phone between his ear and his shoulder so he could light the end of his cigarette. He took a puff before he said, "Well, call the police. How do you expect me to help you when I'm hours away?"

"…"

In a softer tone, Squalo said, "Go to bed, Bel. I'm coming home."

"…"

"Goodnight, brat. Call me if you need me." With that said, Squalo ended the call so he could throw his phone onto the nightstand and get to his feet. Perhaps it had been wrong of him to ditch his kid for three weeks while he had been out sleeping around several towns over, but at the time, he hadn't been able to help himself; he didn't know what had come over him; just that, all of a sudden, the urge to have a spree of one-night stands had overwhelmed him so greatly, he had taken time off even work just to do so in a town where he knew no one.

Squalo didn't look back at the woman in the bed behind him as he finished getting ready; there was so much going through his mind, he couldn't focus on any one thing. He finished his cigarette as he grabbed the last of his belongings and let himself out of the house, and out of all the thoughts clashing in his head, just one stood out the most; why had he come so far out, left everything behind, just to sleep with a few women? Was he running from something in Syracuse, or had he just been spontaneous?

Squalo wasn't sure, but the more it crossed his mind, deep down, he was sure part of the issue lay within himself and had nothing to do with his hometown.

 _ **~~XX~~**_

When Squalo returned home at five-forty-five, he found himself almost knee-deep in takeaway containers. He sighed as he waded through what felt like a sea of empty food wrappers, but he couldn't blame his kid; whatever had gone through his mind had had him straight-up abandoning the younger without so much as a goodbye and leaving him to fend for himself at just sixteen-years-old.

The first thing Squalo did now that he was back in his own home was stop by his kid's bedroom to check on the other. He was relieved to see that the blond was fast asleep in his bed, and with that, Squalo returned to his own bedroom. He shut the door behind him and moved to sit on the edge of his bed so he could kick his boots off, and now that he was in the comfort of his room, he finally unlocked his phone and read through the countless unread messages sitting in his mailbox. Most of them were from his kid, asking where he was and when he was coming home, but some of them were from several other people, namely his best friend, Dino, and his work friend, Lussuria.

 _What's going on with you, Squalo? You've been acting so weird lately._

Squalo couldn't help but snort at Dino's message. He deleted it and moved to the next one, a more dramatic message from Lussuria.

 _Where are you, hon? Bel's freaking out and doesn't know where you are._

Most of the following messages from the two had become increasingly panicked at the long-haired male's lack of communication, but Squalo didn't care at the minute; he would message them back in the day and tell them he had just been out of town.

With that, the man threw his phone to the side so he could slide beneath his blankets and call it a night. But even in his sleep, there was still no reprieve from all the thoughts in his mind.


	2. Chapter 2

It wasn't every day Squalo sat out in the living room with his kid and watched TV with the other, but ever since Bel had woken earlier that morning and found his guardian was home, the blond brat had clung to him like glue, refusing even to attend school. Squalo couldn't say it hadn't agitated him, but what else was he supposed to do? He knew the other was only acting out because of the way he had vanished, so he kept quiet and went along with the little shit's every whim.

The only problem was, though Squalo hadn't minded watching a movie with the younger, he hadn't been prepared for… _that_.

"Turn this shit off, Bel!" Squalo shifted in uneasiness on the couch he was sitting on. He looked to his kid, and his eyes were nearly bulging out of their sockets as he noticed just how interested the other was in the scene that was playing on the TV; how could the younger… It was just fucking _sick!_ "Bel! Turn it off!"

Bel gave his guardian a look that was clearly disappointed, but at the same time, there was also a look of fear buried beneath it. In a quiet tone that wasn't fitting for him, he said, "What's wrong with two guys being together, Squ…?"

The long-haired man ignored the question completely as he snapped back, "Are you a fuckin' fag, too, Belphegor?! You like that kind of shit?!"

The boy's response was whispered, and beneath his long bangs, his eyes gave away the insecurity he was feeling. "No… I like girls, too, Squ…"

"If I ever catch you with another male, I'll fuckin' skin you alive! It's fucking disgusting! I won't have any fags in _my_ home!"

Bel looked away at these words. He was silent for several seconds before he said, "But you're still friends with Lussuria… I can have a boyfriend if I want one – I mean, I _don't_ want a boyfriend, but if I did, I could!"

"If I ever found out you had a boyfriend, I'd beat you so hard, you'd be black and blue for the rest of your life!"

Bel didn't reply to those words; he got off the couch and went to his bedroom. Squalo shuddered as he grabbed the TV remote and changed the channel; he couldn't stop worrying about the possibility of his kid being gay – but the more he thought about it, the more he couldn't help but ponder if maybe… No! _Squalo_ wasn't gay, and he would never give off _any_ sort of vibe that could so much as influence Bel to want to be a homo. He was simply overthinking things; if anyone had encouraged Bel into wanting a filthy lifestyle, it was that fag, Lussuria. That's right; it was _Lussuria's_ fault!

With a sigh, Squalo stood up and moved to the kitchen so he could pour himself a glass of wine; he needed a drink…

 _ **~~XX~~**_

"The fuck are you doing here?"

Squalo tried to blink away the double vision that was plaguing him. In a slightly slurred manner, he muttered, "Forget that; I need somethin' heavy; I'm all out."

Xanxus moved away from the door to let the younger inside. He looked the other up and down when the long-haired male stumbled and almost fell to the floor. "How much have you drank?"

Squalo shrugged. "Dunno… Just… Ahh, that fuckin' brat… Think he's a fag… Don't want him anymore… Gonna give him back to the adoption agency, I think…"

Xanxus said nothing; he just moved into the living room to sit back down on his favourite chair and resume stoking the flames in the fireplace. He looked at Squalo from the corner of his eye when he heard the younger sit on the couch and muttered, "You're an asshole to that kid lately. Don't know why the trash likes you so much with the way you treat him. If I were him, I'd loathe you."

"Voi! I treat him fine! Fuck you!"

The scarred male grabbed his phone from the side table next to his chair. He threw it at the younger before he said, "You _used_ to. His Facebook says otherwise."

Squalo snorted. He made no effort to touch the phone, not caring enough to see what his friend was trying to tell him. "He's just attention seeking. Fuck him. I don't care what the little shit puts on there."

"Fucking trash, you are."

"Hey, let me stay here tonight." Squalo dropped himself onto the couch so he could lay down. "I don't wanna go home."

"Why the fuck should I?"

"Because I drove here smashed and hit somethin' on the way. You want me to die?"

Xanxus made an agitated sound as he got up from his chair and stomped out of the house so he could inspect the damage done to the other's car. Though he was pissed off to find the front of Squalo's Mercedes was indeed rather damaged, what made him _really_ furious was the fact that the other's idea of parking was side-swiping his Lexus SUV and hitting his garage door.

It took an insane amount of self-control to contain the rage inside him at this discovery, and Xanxus had every intention of letting it loose on Squalo as soon as he had stepped back into his living room, but when he came face-to-face with the sudden depression that was etched onto the younger's face by now, he stopped. He remained still for several seconds before he reached out in silence and took Squalo's keys, but nothing else was said, not until the smaller male spoke in a defeated tone.

"Hey… Xanxus…"

Xanxus, who had gone back to his chair, turned to look at the other. He raised his eyebrow. "…"

"Do you ever…" Squalo's fingertips rubbed against the couch beneath him in an absentminded manner. "…Do you ever feel like… Like you're incomplete, or somethin'…? I just… I've been feeling so empty lately… Nothing I do makes it go away… I hate this feeling, Xanxus… I don't know what it is; it just… It's eating away at me…"

"…"

"Do you ever feel like that, Xanxus? Even a little?"

"No."

Squalo sighed. "All the alcohol, and the sleeping around… It doesn't work anymore… It used to numb everything… But I still feel as shit as ever…"

"Why are you telling me this shit?" Xanxus growled. "Don't expect fuckin' sympathy or whatever; all you're doing is pissing me off, shitty shark."

Squalo couldn't help but snort. "I knew it was useless… telling you about my problems… But even so… You're the only one I felt comfortable with telling…"

Xanxus shook his head. "Go to sleep; you're annoying, you piece of trash."

Squalo mumbled something unintelligible before he closed his eyes and passed out, too drunk to remain awake any longer. Xanxus remained sitting on his chair, just watching the younger; like Squalo's other friends, he too could tell that something was seriously wrong – he just didn't know what.

 _ **~~XX~~**_

When Squalo awoke the next morning, he was hit by a raging hangover. He groaned loudly as he slung his arm over his eyes, trying to block out the light from the window that was pouring over him.

"What the fuck…" Hesitantly, the man pushed himself into a sitting position so he could try and work out where he was; he wasn't on the floor of his house like he usually was after drinking so much, so… "Ah, fuck… Xanxus! Xanxus, you awake?!"

From somewhere in the house, Xanxus could be heard shouting back. "Shut the fuck up, trash!"

Squalo grunted as the pounding inside his head grew worse. He held his head in a feeble attempt at stopping it, but it was useless; he still felt as if he were about to throw up. He looked up only when he heard footsteps stop in the doorway of the living room, and part of him wasn't surprised to see a female behind him. "Fuckin'… Was she there while I was awake?"

"I hired her after you passed out, shitty shark; we didn't _have_ a threesome, so shut the fuck up."

Squalo hissed back, but he left it at that; his head was hurting too much to argue. But a threesome with Xanxus… That didn't sound so bad… He could just imagine that rough voice calling out, and all of that muscle… No! Bad Squalo! Don't think such disgusting thoughts! It's the hangover talking!

"The fuck is wrong with you?" After letting the prostitute out of his home, Xanxus moved to stand once again in the doorway of his living room. "You spacing out or something?"

"Fuck you…"

"I'm getting food delivered; get yourself cleaned up and presentable." With that said, Xanxus left again so he could have a shower.

Squalo lay on the couch in misery for what felt like an eternity before Xanxus made another reappearance.

"Now that you're sober, you can tell me just how you plan on paying for the damage done to my car and garage door."

Squalo couldn't help but let out an agitated cry; it seemed that his life was progressively becoming suckier each passing day without fail.


End file.
